Vegan feminist Ellen Lopez-Rourke has one muggy Houston summer left before college. When she is grounded for the entire summer by her (sometimes) evil stepmother, all her plans are thrown out the window. Ellen convinces her parents to let her join the local muggle Quidditch team. An all-gender, full-contact game, Quidditch isn't quite what Ellen expects. There's no flying, no magic, just a bunch of scrappy players holding PVC pipe between their legs...